I'm not some fictive fantasy,
Existing in dreams
And storybook fables
Just because I'm mystical
Doesn't make me some mythical creature.
Yea, I'm special
I'm fucking real.
I've got baggage
I've been damaged
I, too am a work in progress
In the process of healing
But yes -
I am also powerful.
But not on some unrealistic-comic book- supernatural-type strength
I wake up,
I get up
And move with purpose
Despite the pitfalls that impede my journey
Despite the agony
And the uncertainty
And the occasional crippling loneliness
And the internal guilt, shame and irrational conflict-
I fucking exist in
I am not a fucking unicorn!
My life ain't all rainbow skittles,
And infinite sunshine.
You think cuz I've learned to smile during the storms
I haven't been struck by lightening?
That I haven't been shook by thunder?
That I haven't drowned before
In the torrential downpour
of chaos, stress
Or those fucking biblical floods
of depression and damnation?
Shit, I built my own ark brick by brick
And wasn't no two by two to keep me company
Nor any disciples to witness my resurrection.
My truth doesn't come so neatly gift wrapped in instructive allegory -
It's more complicated than that.
I'm tired of being looked at in awe
Placed on this imaginary pedestal of magic
Told over and over again how extraordinary I am
Only to be slandered with insults
For having the audacity to be extra
Their illusive bubbles bursting
Upon realizing my ass
really does defy the picture perfect pristine character
they had envisioned
Or rather badly scripted.
- Cue villainous laugh -
What a wicked plot twist to the happily ever after, I guess
But once upon a time
I was never ordinary, remember?
I'm not a myth.
I have a history
And it's beautifully ugly.
My past does not come painted in pretty pastels
And my present radically differs
From the rose-colored visions you donned when you grew enchanted
with the idea of me
I don't much like the color pink anyways.
I don't fly
I'm not pure
I don't have some magnificent horn -
I'm not a fucking unicorn.
But I am fucking amazing!
And just because you don't know what to make of me
Or can't possibly comprehend what I am
Who I am:
This glorious untamed, liberated individual
Boldly, existing in front of you,
Doesn't make me any less real.
Or my story any less compelling
You just don't deserve to know it
You're far too busy still playing make believe ...
- Jaiye Empress